May 19, 2006

The most functional English word

Well, it's shit...that's right, shit! Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

Consider: you can get shit-faced, be shit out of luck, or have shit for brains.

With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between Shit and Shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bullshit, horse shit and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shits creek without a paddle. Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit. Or not do so, If you don't give a shit!

Well Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit head........Well, shit happens!

5 comments:

Living in Canberra said...

"Fuck" is of course similarly versatile. Noun, verb, adjective and adverb. So easy to use when you can't think of any other word to express yourself.

Anonymous said...

"Fuck" is an option, but not very usable one. You can't use it as much as "shit".

KristieD said...

i always liked George Carlin's "usage of fuck" bit. Its quite a versatile word as well, altho not always as socially acceptable. ;)

Tomward said...

I totally disagree with the the above comments. These commenter's took a post about shits and tangented it to an angle tangent to the belief that fuck is the most versatile word. Yeah, they tangented it alright. All I know is I've seen shit fights in a monkey house more organized than their comments about fuck.

Anonymous said...

Man, that's fucked-up!

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